


Cruel Summer

by indigo_writer



Series: Cruel Summer [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Kurt Hummel-Centric, M/M, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, Past Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:15:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22579963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigo_writer/pseuds/indigo_writer
Summary: After Blaine's completely out of nowhere proposal, Kurt tries to navigate New York, NYADA, his friendships, his relationship with Adam, and his future. Trying to figure out who he is and who he wants to be. (Very vague, I know. lol)
Series: Cruel Summer [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624807
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	1. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has two parts, as of right now, the first part doesn't have Sebastian in it at all, but I wanted to include him in the tags because he is integral to the second part of the story. If you like Kurt and Blaine together, this is not the story for you. I don't actively bash Blaine, but I don't like him as a character.

"Blaine, you can't do this. We can't do this. Why are you asking me to marry you? Now of all times? We aren't even a couple."

"I know, but we're soul mates Kurt. We belong together. We're going to be together forever and I just don't see why we should wait."

"How about because we aren't even dating, Blaine. Or maybe because we haven't done anything to work on our issues."

"We're fine. We were together at Christmas and again at the wedding. That means something. It means that you know we're meant to be together. Why are you fighting this?"

"I told you at the wedding that we were just friends. You agreed to that. Just bros helping bros, right? And I was with you at Christmas because you and my dad ambushed me. I really didn't have a choice. I want us to be friends. I love you. You've been my best friend almost since the day we met. I don't want to say it was a mistake for us to be together at the wedding, but obviously it was. It was easy just to fall back into being with you like that. I'm comfortable with you. We enjoy each others bodies. But I meant it when I said I just want to be friends. I'm dating now."

"Oh, you're with Adam still? How does that make you any better than me Kurt? You cheated on him. I think it's good that you went out with Adam. We both went outside of each other and now we can realize that me and you are meant to be."

"Cheating on your boyfriend of over a year and sleeping with someone while you’re casually dating someone else are two completely different things. And that may be what happened to you when you were with someone else, but that's not what happened with me. I know I don’t want to get back together with you, Blaine. I’m sorry."

Kurt sighed and looked across the room at Blaine. "I don’t think we should see each other anymore, Blaine. I thought that we could be friends. Being together at the wedding was easy and fun. But I realized that what I missed most was your friendship. And that's what you agreed to, but obviously you were just pretending. Waiting until you got what you wanted. I think we need to make a clean break. Obviously, I can't be around you without unintentionally sending you mixed signals. It's not good for either one of us.”

There was nothing left to say after that. Kurt left quietly, knowing this may have ended their friendship for good, but ultimately knowing that it was the best thing for him. He drove home, feeling both saddened by the loss of a friendship and relieved, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He’d known this was coming for awhile, but the sting of fresh loss was going to take awhile to get over.

The next day at the airport, he said goodbye to his Dad again. His spring break was ending and it was time to get back to his life. Back to NYADA and Adam and Rachel and Santana. Hugging Burt tightly, he breathed in his dad’s familiar smell. Always wanting to imprint it in his memory banks for the time he’d be away. He was grateful to have his dad, to know that his cancer is in remission and that the major heath worries were over for now.

“I love you kiddo.”

“I love you too, Dad.”

“I know this Blaine thing is hard, but you’ll be okay. You know I wish you’d told me everything that happened with the breakup before.”

“I know dad.”

Burt pulled the ball cap off his head and ran his hand through his hair and put the cap back on. “You just do what’s best for you now, okay? Everything else will work itself out.” Kurt hugged his dad one last time and walked into the airport. He checked in and met Santana at their terminal. He plopped down in the seat next to where she sat with her head bent over a fashion magazine.He pulled his phone out of his pocket and crossed his legs. He looked at his black screen for a minute before realizing that he didn’t really want to pull up his normal social media sites or texts; the last time he’d checked his phone he’d had a barrage of messages from Tina asking how he could do this to Blaine, from Mercedes asking if he was okay, and from Blaine saying he was making a huge mistake. He sighed and put his phone back in his pocket.

Santana looked up from her magazine at him and gave him a surprisingly soft smile. “Hey Lady Hummel, you ready to go back to the loft and the craziness that is Rachel Berry?”

“Oh yes, you know I’ve missed her loud vocal exercises in the morning.” He smirked at Santana and let it flow into a genuine smile of thanks, because she didn’t ask him how he was or treat him with kid gloves. That was one thing he could always count on with Santana, knowing when you didn’t want to talk about something and letting you have that time if needed, and also her brutal honesty.


	2. Chapter 2

The next three weeks were busy. Kurt was splitting his time between NYADA and his [vogue.com](http://vogue.com) internship. He was still seeing Adam regularly. Between Apples practice and their coffee dates, they got some regular time together. He was able to get over Blaine more quickly than he expected and a lot more quickly than the original break up. He found himself sad for the first few days, mourning the loss of friendship, though hopefully temporary, rather than the loss of a romance.

Santana and Rachel were great. They didn’t treat him any differently than normal and only brought out the sappy movies and ice cream when asked. His classes were keeping him busy and he started working more hours at [vogue.com](http://vogue.com) again, working out a schedule around his classes with Isabelle and splitting the load between himself and another intern so all the work could get done. The day after he and Santana had flown back from Lima, he’d met Adam for coffee in the city near school and the vogue offices. He’d hada meeting with Isabelle to work out his schedule. He didn’t want to continue to shirk his responsibilities and he didn’t want to lose his position when she’d been so generous and understanding.

Kurt walked into the corner coffee shop and saw Adam sitting at a table waiting. Tufts of blond hair sticking out of the front of the navy blue, cotton cap. He smiled wide as he spotted Kurt coming in and stood up to meet him in line. Kurt tilts his head to the side as Adam leans in to give him a kiss on the cheek. They order their coffees and reclaim Adam’s table.

“How was the meeting?” asked Adam.

“Good, good. I’m lucky Isabelle has been so understanding. We worked my schedule out to work around my classes and everything. She interviewed another intern. She starts on Monday.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Oh, yes. Definitely a good thing. It allows for more flexibility in my schedule and she has someone to fill in the gaps.”

“Right, then.”

“Did I tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“I got accepted into the summer fashion program that I had applied to back in November.”

“Congratulations. I didn’t even know you had applied for a fashion program.”

“I didn’t tell anyone. I applied before I got my acceptance to NYADA. Isabelle was encouraging me to think about fashion instead of theatre. It was a long shot even with her recommendation.”

“Kurt, you were chosen out of dozens to be an intern at vogue, you had a recommendation from Isabelle Wright. If they hadn’t accepted you, they would have been mad.”

“Fashion is cut throat, Adam. I don’t even go to fashion school.”

“Well, they were right to take you. What kind of fashion program is it?”

“It’s the Summer Advanced Fashion Lab at LIM. It’s a four week intensive. I’m glad I only signed up for summer NYADA classes for the first half of the summer. I wouldn’t have wanted to have to choose between them.”

“Does that mean you won’t get to go see your family for the last half of the summer like you planned?”

“I will still be able to see them. It won’t be for as long though, unfortunately. After the program is over, I’ll go back to Lima for a week and then I’ll be back for the fall semester.”

***

“Okay, we need to go out and paint the town gay, or whatever. I needs to get my mack on, and Kurt has something to celebrate, and, quite frankly Berry, I’m tired of looking at your depressed ass. I know you didn’t get that role you wanted, but the fact that you were even called back in the first place is huge. You’re in your first year of college. Your life isn’t over, but I’m telling you right now, your pity party is.”

“She’s right, Rachel.” Kurt looked at Rachel , curled up on the couch with a throw wrapped tightly around her, already in her pale pink pajamas with hearts on them from high school that, until this month, he hadn’t seen since their first week in the apartment.

“Rachel. Honey. Look, we’ve allowed this to go on far too long. You’ve been moping around this loft for weeks. You only leave to go to class and the grocery store. You haven’t even gone to call backs. The Rachel Berry I know doesn’t let an opportunity to sing in front of a crowd go unfulfilled.”

“I’m willing to go to your ridiculous, NYADA, love yourself, botulism, let everyone praise me, bar. Thems some dire straights.”

“I don’t know that I’m up for it guys. Thank you, really. I’m going to stay here.”

“Oh, this wasn’t a suggestion or a question. You’re going with us, even if I have to strip you out of those ridiculous pajamas myself. And aren’t you happy for Kurt? You don’t want to show him how proud of him we are?”

Rachel gave Santana that patented Rachel stare, but it was no match for Santana’s.

An hour later they walked into call backs, the sound of people singing coming from the stage and people laughing and talking, and glasses clinking meeting Kurt’s ears while he’s scanning the crowd for Adam and his friends. He spots him at a table off to the side with some of the Apples and a few other people he recognizes from school. He gets the attention of the girls and gestures to where Adam is sitting.

“Okay, we’ll be over after we go to the bar. You want a water, Kurt?” Santana asked.

“Yes. Thanks.”

The bar is already crowded and Kurt recognizes the girl currently belting it out onstage from his Classics class. Adam stands up as Kurt approaches the table. “Hey, you. I see you managed to drag your roommates out. Glad you could get them to come.” He puts his hand on Kurt’s lower back and pulls him in for a quick peck on the lips. He pulls back and grabs an empty chair and pulls it up to the table for Kurt to sit in.

“I didn’t think Rachel would come, but Santana guilt tripped her so here we are.” Kurt shrugged and smiled at Adam.

Kurt greets the others at the table and then they turn their attention back to the stage as the one girl finishes and a couple jumps up on stage to sing a duet. Kurt feels a bottle of water hit him on the side of the head and he turns to see Santana smirking at him. He grabs it from her and sets it on the table in front of him and the girls pull up a couple of chairs. He can see Rachel out of the corner of his eye, managing both to sulk and look like she’s being tortured, while still appearing ready to jump up on stage any moment. That takes some serious talent.


	3. Chapter 3

The weeks went on like that, trying to split time between school and work and Adam. It’s getting harder and harder for Kurt to keep things casual with Adam. They’ve been having their coffee dates and dinner dates and Adam helps Kurt with dance, but he thinks that he really wants to take their dates further. He’s been so hesitant to really go for it with Adam since the non-breakup breakup with Blaine two months ago. He doesn’t know why he’s hesitating, but something is holding him back. It certainly isn’t feelings for Blaine, though he knows he’ll always cherish the time he had with Blaine and his friendship, he isn’t in love with him anymore and will never be again. It’s like that song from Wicked. People come into our lives for a reason, some for a season and others for always and he knows now that Blaine was in his life just for a season. He finally gets that it’s okay for someone to be in his life for a season and that Blaine is one of those people.

He feels like Adam is one of those people that will be in his life for always, but he thinks that the reason he has been so hesitant is that he doesn’t want to screw up what they have. He’s starting to realize that Adam’s friendship is something he doesn’t want to live without, whether or not they work out romantically.

Sometimes he wishes he was the type of person who could just live his life and not overthink everything. That he could do things without a plan and sleep around, and not worry so much about the future. But the one time he did that, only applying to NYADA and not having a back up plan, it blew up in his face. It ended up working out, but that doesn’t mean he is willing to make himself go through that again. Those months of unease and agony and not knowing what was going to happen were the worst. His dad finally giving him the push he needed by selling the Navigator and telling him to go to New York, was the best thing his dad could have done for him.

His dad could tell that he was starting to get depressed and anxious and wasn’t eating like he should and he’d lost weight that he really didn’t have to lose. He still can’t believe that his dad had done that for him. Them working on that Navigator together was so important to his dad, it was important to him too, but he didn’t think his dad would ever sell that car.

Anyways, back to Adam. He isn’t sure what it is about Adam, but it kind of feels like the passion isn’t there. Not that he has tons of experience and he does feel super comfortable with Adam. It’s just that is comfortable really the way he wants to feel in a relationship. With Blaine, there was comfort, but he was never really comfortable. At the beginning it was exciting and new just having another gay teen to talk to that shared his interests. He was cute and he flirted and it was fun. Eventually, it became just kind of habit, but at the same time, he was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. They moved glacially slow and then at warp speed and then it felt like they were kind of going backwards towards the end of his senior year. Blaine got insecure and clingy and then started to pull away.

Then it seemed as if he was almost glad that Kurt didn’t get into NYADA, even though he killed his audition, and that Kurt would be staying in Lima where Blaine was. There was a little resistance when Kurt told him about his plan and what his dad had done for him by selling the Nav. Then of course he cheated on Kurt when he had only been gone a couple of months. Blaming it on Kurt because he was too busy and didn’t answer his phone every time Blaine called, like it is a good idea to constantly be on the phone with your high school boyfriend while you’re at work. Having sex at Shue’s wedding on Valentine’s day was the most spontaneous they had ever been and they weren’t even a couple when that happened. He knows he can never get back together with Blaine, because he’ll always be on pins and needles, waiting for the other shoe to drop and for Blaine to find another reason to blame Kurt for him having cheated again. He knows that is exactly what would happen.

Adam though, that is a different story all together. He knows without any doubt that Adam would never cheat on him. He tells Kurt every time he goes out with another guy even though they aren’t exclusive. Kurt is never worried that if he smiles at a guy or texts another guy, that Adam would go into some possessive jealous rage.That is just not how he is and Kurt loves that about him. There is never a double standard or different rules for how the two of them can behave or act, like there was with Blaine. But he doesn’t want to break things off with Adam, just because it isn’t exciting and new. Comfortable is not a bad thing to feel. Maybe he is overanalyzing this.

Oh goody, something new and different. Ugh.

* * *

Kurt and Adam are at Adam’s small apartment, making out on the couch and Kurt is only a little weirded out that Adam’s cat is watching them from the chair across the room. He’s got his hands up the back of Adam’s t-shirt and he is almost positive Adam is going to have scratch marks on his back tomorrow. He can feel Adam’s muscles flex and move as Adam changes the angle of the kiss, and oh that’s new and different, yeah, he is not about to come in his pants like some teenage virgin who can’t control himself.

It takes all of the control that he can muster to pull back from Adam to try to catch his breath. Adam lifts his head and looks at him questioningly and sits back against the arm rest as Kurt sits up and tries to get himself under control. He can see that Adam is in no better shape than he is, breathing hard and with a tent in his khakis that has Kurt wanting to climb on top of him and grind down. Hard.

Looking at Adam, he isn’t sure how he has waited this long to take things to the next level with him, but he knows that he doesn’t want wait anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers Ahead!
> 
> I don't know if anyone cares to know, but Kurt and Adam are not endgame.
> 
> Also, in the next couple of Chapters, Finn's death will be addressed. It isn't going to be the main focus of the story, but that happened in the middle of me writing this story and it changed the story drastically. So much so, that I put it down and stopped writing it for awhile. I already have a lot of part 2 written, but I struggled with part 1 after this happened. I wanted it to be important, but I don't want this to be a sad story or a tragedy. Hopefully, that comes across and doesn't offend anyone.


	4. Chapter 4

Sneaking into the loft isn’t really possible. The door makes way too much noise for that. So when he gets home the next morning, after spending the night at Adam’s for the first time, he isn’t expecting to make it past the threshold without catching the girls’ attention. What he is expecting is some kind of interrogation from them, but it doesn’t come.

Sliding the door open, he walks into the apartment the next morning and he sees Rachel and Santana in the kitchen, Rachel drinking her morning tea and Santana gulping down her coffee with her eyes closed still half asleep. He slides the door shut behind him and takes a deep breath and says a quick good morning before walking towards his section of the loft to throw his bag down on his bed.

“Good morning, Kurt!” Rachel shrills, and then slips her bag onto her shoulder and flounces out of the apartment.

Santana, grumbling, says “Hey,” before quickly going back to inhaling her coffee.

Kurt takes this brief reprieve for the blessing it is and slips into the bathroom for a quick shower before heading to NYADA. After showering and dressing, Kurt makes sure he has everything he needs and goes out into the kitchen to refill his water bottle up and he sees that Santana is on the phone. He waves at her and slips out the door before she has a chance to say anything to him.

The rest of the day, he doesn’t get any lewd messages from Santana or nosy questions from Rachel. He just goes about his day like he didn’t spend the night with Adam for the first time. Later that evening, he gets back to the loft from working at vogue and Rachel and Santana are sitting on the couch watching The Facts of Life and Santana is trying to explain to Rachel the UST between Jo and Blair. Again.

He doesn’t know why they’re still giving him the space and privacy he so rarely gets with the two of them, but he is grateful for it. They wave at him as he walks past them to throw his bag on the bed and goes to shower after a long day of dance class and Apples practice.

Later, they’re eating dinner and he sees that both of them are trying to have a silent conversation with each other, but they are failing miserably if they think they’re being so subtle about it that he won’t notice. Rachel keeps blinking and opening her eyes so wide, he’s surprised that her eyeballs haven’t fallen out of her head yet. Santana looks like she’s starting to develop a tick with how hard she is clearly having to force herself not to say something.

He lasts 5 minutes into the meal before he breaks and has to say something about it.

“Stop!” Kurt slams his hands down on the table making both girls jump. “What is up with you two? You both have crazy eyes. Rachel is practically vibrating out of her seat and Santana, you’re starting to twitch. What gives?”

Santana and Rachel look at each other and they both start talking at once.

“Kurt! We’re waiting for you to bring up your date with Adam, but you’re driving us crazy!”

“Lady Hummel, did your British hunk of man meat finally give it to you or not?”

“Woah! Okay.”

“Santana!”

“What? We’re both thinking it, I just had the balls to ask.”

“Was it not good, Kurt? Is that why you don’t want to talk about it?”

“Yeah, did it suck? And not in the good way?”

“I don’t see how my sex life is any of your business, but since you asked, it was good. I’m happy that we’re taking our relationship to the next level. Oh, and Santana, what makes you think I didn’t give it to him?” He gets up nonchalantly and goes to refill his glass with water.

“Yeah, get it Hummel!”

“Kurt!”

He laughs as he sits back down at the table and shakes his head.

“Look, I’m not giving you any details. And I didn’t talk about it, because I figured you would ask and since you didn’t I thought you were giving me my privacy and I appreciated that. I still do appreciate all the effort you both took in not asking me about it, so lets continue on like we were.”

He immediately changed the subject to Rachel’s next audition, and she took over the conversation for the rest of the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers!
> 
> This is the chapter that deals with the death of Finn.

A few weeks later and three months after Blaine tried to propose, Kurthas the loft to himself for the night for once and he is getting ready for final projects and tests for the semester when his phone rings. He sees that it’s his dad and he thinks about blowing it off and calling back later since he’s so busy, but his dad doesn’t usually call this late at night so he picks up the phone. He’s got a horrible feeling all of a sudden, but tries not to let it show in his voice as he answers.

When his dad tells him that Finn died in a car accident, was hit by a drunk driver, he’s devastated. Finn had only been his step-brother for less than 3 years, but he’d really loved having a brother more than he thought he would. He genuinely loved him, despite his flaws and their rocky beginning and they weren’t just brothers in name only, but true brothers and friends. 

Telling Rachel about Finn was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do and seeing Santana’s reaction was heartbreaking too. He knew that underneath her rough exterior, she really cared about people, even if she wants people to think she’s a “straight up bitch” in her words. He felt like he had to keep it together for them, but once Adam came over and he tried to tell him about Finn, he just broke down. Adam didn’t try to say anything, because there wasn’t anything that could be said. He just held Kurt all night long and when Kurt finally fell asleep, he booked flights from New York to Columbus for the next day and drafted an email for Kurt to approve so that it could be sent to his professors and hopefully get extensions for his finals under these extenuating circumstances.

The next morning, Kurt was astonished and so grateful that Adam thought to do all of that for him. He noticed that Rachel and Santana were clinging to each other in a way he didn’t think he had ever seen before and he overheard Rachel talking to her dads on the phone and crying and asking if they could buy a ticket for Santana to fly with her back to Lima too.

He received responses from his professors fairly quickly, granting him his extensions and expressing their condolences. Even Cassandra July, who wasn’t the warmest of people, sent her condolences. They all left for JFK together, despite the fact that his and Adam’s flight was several hours before Santana and Rachel’s.

Kurt was surprised to see Sam Evans outside of the airport when they got there. His dad had told him that someone would pick them up, but he wasn’t sure who it would be.

“Sam Evans,” Kurt said.

“Kurt Hummel,” Sam smiled back at him before pulling Kurt in for a hug.

“This is my boyfriend, Adam. Adam, this is Sam.” Both boys nodded at each other and shook hands.

“I’m so sorry Kurt, about Finn”

“Yeah, me too. I’m kind of numb about it right now. You know?”

“Yeah, I’m that too, and angry. Lots of anger here, but I know that isn’t going to change anything. Let’s get going, it’ll take about 45 minutes to get to Lima and I know you want to see your dad.”

“Yeah.”

They all piled into the front of Sam’s truck, with Kurt in the middle, and their bags wedged behind the seats. The ride was uneventful and they made it to the Hummel-Hudson home fairly quickly.

Kurt started crying as soon as his dad opened the door and stepped outside. His dad pulled him into a hug and they gripped each other tight, just holding onto one another for several minutes until they both let go and stepped back. Kurt introduced Adam and his dad.

Adam carried their bags inside and Kurt went straight to Carole, who has been nothing but the best step-mom he could have ever wished for, and hugged her tight. He knew there wasn’t anything he could say that would make it okay, but he also knew that they would need each other, not just for the funeral in the next few days, but especially in the coming months and going forward.


End file.
